Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Now Faith....Certain of what we do not see

Let me start by what just flipped through my mind this morning as I drove to what was "supposed" to be the beginning of the changes I have been working hard to enact in my life. As I flew out my driveway at 10:06 am I repeated over and over. Please God give me Peace, keep me focused and let me stay calm.... 2 miles down the road (our back country roads that is) A rather large truck pulled out in front of me. ARGGHH. Peace,focus, calm,,, Peace, focus, calm. But all I can now see is the back of a truck, the whole back is black. I can not see over it, I can not see around it. Instead of getting frustrated all I could think was wow; this is sort of how life sort of is. This truck represents the future, and I can not see what lies ahead of this truck... Just like in life we do not know what lies ahead. Well my meeting did not quite go as planned. Hopefully it will be good in the long run, but for now it means frustration and unknowing and more faith. And then over at A Leap of Faith (sorry Hilary seem to alwaays be borrowing from you or one of my other bog buddies) Hilary has put together a welcome home for the The LaJoy Girls. At the end of the video a passage that seems to be not only fitting but a message that just ties this whole day together. "Now Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we can not see." HEBREWS 11:1
I don't know how... I can't see why.. But I know I have been given a gift. A gift to pass along to two children. I just need to continue to have the strength to persevere. This road has been long and hard. And like another friend has said I feel like I have aged so much this last two years. But I watch Cindy and how much she had to endure to bring her girls home and just know I have no choice but to hang in and ride the storms. And at the end I sure hope will be still waters.

Monday, February 15, 2010

psych eval today!!!

Not sure what to expect. Expect the unexpected! This morning I will sit and have my psychee evaluated. Hmm wonder what we'll find out? That I am crazy after all. Maybe. I still don't now how I am going to juggle two international adoptions, let alone two children in the house at one time. Both toddlers, both with spme degree of special needs. But I still have a peace about this decision that I really can not explain. Before we stared Miss Shelby's Kyrgyzstan adoption we watch the movie "The Sixth Sense" This is my favorite movie. No not because of the aliens. But because of the underlying story. There are no coincidences. I have tons of stories of these non coincidences that have come to pass.